Congratulations on your new bundle of joy! It’s such a wonderful time, and you’ll be feeling so many different emotions. One thing that you may not have thought about is what to say when someone has a baby. You don’t want to say the wrong thing and offend them, but at the same time, it can be hard to know what they are thinking or feeling. Here are some tips for talking with parents after they’ve had their child:
Offer to bring over dinner for them – whether they want it or not. (I know what you’re thinking: is this person going to eat? Trust me, they will.)
If the baby has arrived at an inconvenient time in their schedule, and it’s really tough getting back into a routine, offer to watch the baby so that they can get some rest by themselves. You don’t have to be available all of the time–just when necessary!
When talking about your kids with theirs, try not to compare or brag too much. It may seem like a compliment but could come across differently than intended. Instead, ask questions and listen attentively when answering those questions as well! They’ll appreciate how much you care.
If they’re feeling overwhelmed, offer to take over some of the responsibilities so that they can focus on what’s most important right now.
When in doubt, just ask them how you can help! Be sure to keep a good sense of humor about it and really be able to laugh when things get tough like with any parenting journey. Have fun getting through this together and make new memories for your kids! Who knows–maybe one day someone will return the favor for you 🙂
(Blank) is having their baby soon? I’ve got many questions but are afraid if asking too much or at all? This article has tips on what not to say as well as what to do instead! It’s important to be supportive and understanding of what (blank)’s going through.
Stay calm in the hospital because it can make a big difference for them, especially if they’re feeling panicked or overwhelmed with emotions like joy, sadness, fear, or anger.
What not to say: “Congratulations!” – This might seem like an odd point but some people might feel that this sounds condescending so don’t use this phrase at all! In fact, you should avoid any phrases that sound congratulatory until after the baby is born when their family has made introductions since saying anything before then will create anxiety and disappointment about what isn’t there yet. Instead, you could say something more along the lines of “This must be really hard/interesting/exciting.”
“How many bedrooms do you want?” – This is a question that might not be appropriate until much later in the conversation. When they’re already anticipating what life with their new baby will look like, it can seem insensitive to ask for too much information as if their house is set up before the pregnancy even begins!
“Are you going to breastfeed or bottle-feed?” – It may be inappropriate and uncomfortable to discuss some topics while people are still pregnant so refrain from asking these questions when someone has just had a child. Wait at least two months after they’ve given birth before introducing this topic of discussion again.
“Are you going to work?” – This question may also be inappropriate if they’re still pregnant or breastfeeding. Wait until the new baby is born before asking this type of question and take care not to make assumptions about what a woman should do with her life post-childbirth! A good choice is to give your friend some useful advice to follow during pregnancy like the ones you can find in this article from Serenity Kids.
“What are your plans for child care?” – It’s important that people don’t assume anything when it comes to how parents will raise their children. Some want more hands-on parenting while others prefer sending their kids off in daycare. Asking what someone’s childcare arrangements look like can lead them down one path but it doesn’t mean that other options won’t work as well!
“Do you know yet whether you’ll have a boy/girl?” – It’s always best to ask what the parents know about their child. This way you can find out if they’re expecting a baby or not and let them share in the excitement as well!
“What are your thoughts on (insert parenting philosophy here)?” – When people start talking about parenting, it may be helpful for new moms and dads to learn more from each other so that they have an idea of where others stand when it comes to certain topics.
