Keeping the Flame of Romance Alive
Romance is an ongoing thing that requires dedicated effort and decisive action. Just because something is decisive doesn’t mean it’s swift, though. You can “decide” to stay in shape, that’s decisive. It’s also a decision that will percolate throughout your life over many years. Romance is similar.
Over time, we change as individuals, there’s no way around that. It’s the same with couples. You’re not going to be head-over-heels in love forever. That is the ignition spark that starts the engine of true love, which may go down many year-long miles on the road of life.
You can’t expect a car’s engine to act like it does when you turn the key perpetually; the engine would blow up. Similarly, long-term relationships must transition; but this is a good thing.
Whereas before, you were controlled by emotion, now you can use that emotion very much like the fuel for your matrimonial engine, either slowing things down or speeding them up. You have greater security and control. So with these things in mind, consider the following tips to help romance last.
1. The Element of Surprise
Here’s a great idea: surprise your partner with flowers when she least expects it—within reason, of course. Nobody wants a big bouquet shoved in their arms after they get off a shift working some dirty job that leaves them covered in grime. Wait till she’s in a good mood for a good surprise, or you’ll diminish the total effect.
There’s an apocryphal story about a man who always gave his wife the piece of bread at the top of the loaf that had the crust on it. She finally rejected it after thirty-odd years of marriage, to which the man replied: “But…that’s my favorite piece.” He was giving of himself for her sake, so he was mildly suffering. She was suffering the nasty bread for his sake.
Both did what they did out of love, even though neither party wanted to do it, and in the fullness of time, the hilarity of the situation became apparent. But imagine if there was a real fight between the two based on this bread.
In large and small things, successful couples set their mind to truly care for the other party, even if that’s uncomfortable. This is one aspect of “long-suffering”.
3. Do Things Together
Date night should, at minimum, characterize “together” activities on a weekly basis in a strong relationship.
Even if you can’t have a specific “date”, find ways of spending time together. Shop together, do household chores, attend community meetings, go to church as a unit; find ways of spending time together positively.
A Relationship That Stands the Test of Time
Do things together, commit yourself to “long-suffering”, and incorporate the element of surprise. These three things are present in almost every successful relationship that makes it over the long term. As you consider how best to nurture your relationship, keep these things in mind.